What happened this weekend (based on the tibits of lovely quotes I wrote this friday)

[starsthatshine]

Happy birthday kazatomic!!

I know some wanted to know what happened with my dad this weekend and I can say it was pretty bad. Well, I'm fine - physically at least. That counts for something right?

Anyway, my dad started to discuss the situation in Palestine and with Israel and everything. Anyhow, my dad suddenly called my sister a rasist, because she asked a simple (sort of innocent childish) question why Israel didn't get enough and packed their bags. My dad, being pro-Israel, called my little 12-13 year old sister, a rasist and she's going through a tough time so she freaked. She started talking loud and crying her eyes out.

My dad started to scream back, using threatening gestures and stone cold voice to make her go back to her room. We all knew what was coming; me, my sister and I even think dad knew. My little sister refused. My dad ran up to her, she started running from him. Dad caught up with her, grabbed her arms hard and she struggled as dad almost dragged her across the room. Then he stopped at the end of the stairs and just threw her up the stairs (and they have this bendy stairs so she could very well have hit her head really really seriously). He really hurt her and he just went... psychotic. I haven't been that scared since the last time, last summer when he had a breakout like this.

Just... the look in his eyes. He shouldn't be allowed to have children. My whole body was shaking and I sent him the most vemon looking glares I could give him, as I always do when I get scared and I screamed to him that if he ever behaved like this again, I would be gone. My dad is rough and well... He was spooky and the bigggest regret he had about that was (and I'm quoting): "My biggest regret about this that I actually got so mad that I started cursing. That- that was a lowpoint. Huge disapppointment for me."

Then another couple of lovely words he threw out afterwards... well those I posted two entries ago. So he physically hurt my sister, although she didn't hit her head (thank God!), he scared the shit out of me and gave me even more mental issues as it is. And he's biggest regret is that he was cursing. Wonderful. Jackass.

I can't deal. I've been in pain and misery since the second I walked into that house and I'm just so happy that I'm back home now. I can't deal being there, I probably wont deal another day there. But I'll probably ignore it and go there next time I'm there - it's Father's Day. What a fucking joke.

Comments

[secretlyevileen.livejournal.com]

Does your mom know that your dad acts like this? Cuz I'm kinda shocked that anyone would let you guys stay with him if he treats you guys like that. :| *hugs*

[aliasagent.livejournal.com]

My mom knows he used to act like this, when we were kids it was ugly - really ugly, anyway - then she thought it had stopped but then she found out that he had one of those anger attacks stuff last summer and she went furious. But dad being dad, he's like Dan in One Tree Hill only more psycotic, not so understandable, more religious and just nasty and playing mind games all the time. My mom cares and have pretty much done everything she has been able to, but it has to be up to us, and we are all ready mentally damaged, all three of us.
*hugs back* Soon i have no idea what to do.

[secretlyevileen.livejournal.com]

*hugs* maybe you could try getting him to get help for his anger. But I can imagine that'd be tough to do.

[blossomslut.livejournal.com]

fuck. i'm so sorry that you and your sister have to deal with that. isn't there anyone you can talk to about what he does? it sounds to me like what he needs is some serious anger management classes.

so much love, darling. ♥

[aliasagent.livejournal.com]

Thanks hun *huge hugs* I talk to this counsellor in school, but that's about what I can dare and well... Dad hasn't got a flaw, you see, so he wouldn't be fit with anger management classes since he doesn't need them. *sarcsm* And well... he's a psycho... and I hate being there *hugs*

[lostopenwindows.livejournal.com]

Jesus Christ :S What's with everyone's dad these days? My own has behaving quite nice lately but everyone else's seems to have gone completely bonkers. =/

*stops the stupid parents rant and hugs*

I don't know if this is an option or not but have you ever considered contacting social services? I mean... what he did to your sister was physical abuse, not to mention the mental abuse the three of you seem to suffer from. You wrote it yourself, you really suffer because of him and you shouldn't. =/

[aliasagent.livejournal.com]

Dads can be quite insane I suppose. That's so odd.

*hugs back*

I know, I probably should for my own well being and all but I dont dare. I hate being there,and well... I can't deal with it either. But... on the same time he's my dad... It would be unfair to him if I just... cut him off. I mean, he can be sorta nice sometimes. Sorta.

[lostopenwindows.livejournal.com]

Well, it's not so much about cutting him off... it's more like asking someone to help you to help him. Going to social services won't mean that you won't ever see your dad again or that he'll get a restraining order, sometimes they can arrange for counselling and stuff like that.

Hope you don't get the impression that I'm trying to pressure you into this, but no matter what you do remember that taking care of yourself is one of the most important things. Life's too short to be spending time being unhappy. =/

[aliasagent.livejournal.com]

True, but I'd bet he'd cut me off anyway... I donno... You just can't predict him in some situations... and besides, he thinks social services is total bull since they sided with my mother in the custody battle.

No no, you aren't pushing me at all or pressuring me or whatever, you are giving me options and everything, and I need to hear all that. And you are right about life being too short.

[lostopenwindows.livejournal.com]

Well, opinions differ when it comes to social services... I guess it all depends on what experience they've had with them. Sometimes it seems like from what I hear they sometimes do very good things and other times not so good things.

I wish I could do more for you than just comment on your entries... I have a big, yummy chocolate bar in my bag waiting to be eaten by someone who really needs it but unfortunately it can't exactly be emailed. :P

[aliasagent.livejournal.com]

I wish that too, but you live like in the other part of sweden so... Long travel and all that. :)

And chocolate bars are the love. I bought two (one apelsin krokant and one normal) to get me through that weekend. It was barely enough. *le sigh* Chocolate = the life :P

[lostopenwindows.livejournal.com]

So right about the chocolate bit... although I'm starting to develope a sudden liking for pears. :S I went from "Oh, God no" to "I need pears! I need sweet fruit!" Love of chocolate is constant though.

[ieleni.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that! I feel so sorry for your sister... reading the entry brought tears to my eyes. It shouldn't be like that at all. :/ I really and honestly hope that everything will work out!

[aliasagent.livejournal.com]

I doubt it will work out actually, to be honest, but thank you soooo much for caring - it really means A LOT to me *huggies*

[stephie04.livejournal.com]

To quote what you said "dad's suck"

I'm sorry for what you have to go though *hugs* Luckily my mom got out of it before it got that bad, my dad is out in Holland somewhere, haven't spoken to him in ten years, which is probably a good thing

XoXo!

[aliasagent.livejournal.com]

A part of me just wants to say: You are so lucky :) But that's just me :)

[keelydoesfrosty.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm sorry dearie :(

[aliasagent.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thanks - so am I... I have no idea why I keep up with it anymore.

[mrsotown.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I can't even begin to imagine how scary that must have been for you and your sister *hug* I'm glad that she wasn't injured physically.

[aliasagent.livejournal.com]

*huge hugs* Thank you :)

[kazatomic.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling at the moment. I think I must have been lucky to have had such a caring, thoughtful father. I really miss him.

Thank you for the birthday wishes.

[aliasagent.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* You are so lucky with a sweet and thoughtful father.

You're welcome :)

[feminosity.livejournal.com]

Hey girly.

Thank God you didn't get hurt, but I know that still doesn't make it okay. Sometimes my Dad gets scarily angry, and he's sicilian, but he's never really physically hurt me or my brother. I can't imagine being in that situation.

I don't know if this is good advice, but maybe you should just threaten him...Tell him that if he doesn't change or get help that you don't want to ever see him again. Maybe it will scare him enough into trying to change, if not for himself, at least for you and your sister. If he doesn't believe you, maybe you just shouldn't visit him on Father's Day and he'll get an idea especially on that day of how lonely it is without you girls and that if he keeps up this behaviour he won't have you in his life.

*Hugs* Stay strong, and stay safe. I wish there was more I could do.

Mela<3

[aliasagent.livejournal.com]

I'm seriously thinking about not visiting Father's Day but... I'll probably wont dare.

*huge hugs* Thank you so much - I need that :)

[britfacexx.livejournal.com]

::millions of hugs:: I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, but I'm glad you and your sister aren't badly hurt.

Just... the look in his eyes.
I know exactly what look you're talking about. My dad gets it sometimes too, though he's never been quite as violent as you described. And as for your 'he shouldn't be allowed to have kids...' I've thought that too. ::hugs you some more:: I'm just really sorry, and hopefully you can get some help. <33

[aliasagent.livejournal.com]

*hugs you back* Yeah, I'm thankful that not too severe injuries came up, although I think it would be healthy for him to realize the pain he's put us through and that he's doing wrong.... Sometimes I think that people has to be examined before being allowed to have children, but that's just me.

*hugs* Thanks :)

[turnyourankle.livejournal.com]

Oh hun I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I've been through something very, very similar (I'm not sure if you know) and I hate to see it happen to someone else.

I read your replies to other comments and how it wouldn't be fair to cut him of, I'm saying that you have to do that since not everyone is the same and neither is each situation, but I did. I have to say that it's probably the best thing that I've ever done. The last words he said to me when we spoke in person 3 years ago was that I was no longer his daughter in his eyes. And honestly, I didn't do anything to deserve that. You guys don't deserve the treatment you get either.

I just I hope you find a way to deal with this, any way is better than keeping this up. *hugs*

[aliasagent.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I could imagine my dad would say something very similar to me, if I cut him off, but if I cut him off my two sisters will be there alone with him and I'm pretty sure his anger would be taken out on them.

*hugs* OK :)

[attaining.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, sweetie, I know exactly what that's like. *hugs* Your mom could probably petition the courts to deny him any custody at all; no visitation. What he did to you and your sister IS abuse, and it's not something he should be allowed to continue. I know it doesn't seem fair to cut him off, and that you love him, but it's even more unfair that he threw your sister up the stairs. Cutting off an abuser does NOT make you a bad daughter, especially when you're in a position of not being able to leave the vicinity when he has a fit (...assuming you can't drive yet). He's not the victim, baby. Have you told your mom yet? It's scary to stand up against your parents, and I understand if you chose not take action, but I just want to make sure you know that you don't have to, and don't deserve to, live with that behavior and that kind of pain.

Is your dad bipolar by chance?

Good luck, sweets. <3 <3

[aliasagent.livejournal.com]

*huge hugs* Thank you.

What does bipolar mean?

[silent-chris.livejournal.com]

*hugs*