"Waiting is the Worst" (Morgana) G
Oct. 20th, 2008 09:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
starsthatshineTitle: Waiting is the Worst
Rating: G, I guess
Character/Pairing: Morgana
Summary: Morgana ponders of greatness, injustice and the future of Camelot
Spoilers: None, not really referring to anything in particular.
Notes: I've now watched all five episodes of Merlin. And to my sadness, there was little of Morgana, who is a character I've really liked ever since reading Mists of Avalon. Anyway, I tried to, based on what I've seen on the show so far, make this little fic(let) to sort of try to get inside her head a little and in the process to try and explain why I think she's such a great character and deserves more screen time. There's no real pairing in this one and it's not based on some grand information of what is going to happen on the show (they've changed some bits so I have no idea what will remain and what will be changed) so this is just me trying to get a sense of Morgana's situation and her life etc. seeing as we know quite little about it. This is my first fic in quite some time, so I have no idea how it is, therefore I'm very thankful for feedback, good or bad. I aim to improve as a writer.
She's lived among men all her life, and of one thing she is certain; she shall never be one man's slave.
Morgana looks out of the window of her chamber, staring down at the masses below. Of the great city of Camelot and of what she is certain shall ultimately be its demise. While she is thankful that Uther has taken her on, she cannot help but be repelled by his ignorance and his reluctance to see that there are more forces in the world than black and white. She believes at heart, Uther is a good man but his cowardice blinds him and invokes such dread that he refuses to acknowledge any power greater than his own. Uther Pendragon, is not a great man. Great men do not crumble at the sight of power but rather seeks out a way to understand it, to harness it for good.
Of what the future holds, she cannot be certain. But she fears it because she knows that even though Arthur could become the king that Camelot needs, it is still many moons away for actually coming to pass. Maybe her dreams have misled her. Maybe her hopes disillusions her from the great truth that Arthur cannot be the man she wants him to be - the man she needs him to be - for everyone's sake.
She sighs, thankful for her solitude. She has much of it these days. Sometimes, it is unbearable but sometimes it is a blessing. Not being an active participant in her own life shields her from many things, but mostly from herself. The walls of the castle have become her prison and the stone walls that were meant as a comfort seems now to suffocate her. She feels like a bird trapped in a cage that longs to fly. She doesn't know how, where or why, but it's almost as though there is something inside of her, longing to see the light of day but despite all wishes and desires, continues to be hidden in darkness.
She does not think Camelot as a prison someone has put herself in. She walked into it on her own will and she has happy days, but it is days like these when the rain pours down and she is alone that the thoughts come to her, haunting her. It seems like the nightmares she fight in her dreams are ebbing into her everyday consciousness and she wishes she had answers.
Her thoughts are interrupted as Gwen walks into the room, and Morgana happily takes her eyes off the world outside and turns to her handmaiden, who always wears such a smile on her face. Sometimes, she believes Gwen is freer than herself. For she is truly no man's slave but those she choose to serve. She herself, on the other hand, is bound by the rules dictated by her guardian, who presumes to know everything and all in the world, while his true knowledge is only a portion of what could be found.
"Hello Gwen," she says, smiling at her even if she's not sure if it's genuine.
She doesn't claim to have these answers herself, but there are those who have. People wiser than herself and Uther. Out of gratitude, she hopes that he is the king he supposed himself to be, but she has doubts. Uther has, as far as she's aware, earned his throne rightfully, but she can see the potential, all the wasted potential and the idea of what a king he could be, die before her very eyes. Uther seeks to do what is right but occasionally he blinds himself from reason, shrinks away from his duty because he is afraid. She hopes that his son, Arthur, will be better.
She hopes he won't be afraid, at least not of forces greater than his own, even if it means facing impossibilities. She hopes him to grow up to be a man of glory, righteousness, loyalty, honour, bravery, intelligence, and most importantly, a man of hope. God knows Camelot could use some.
But she really shouldn’t think of such things. At least not now. There will be a time to think these thoughts, she is certain, but it is not now. She has to do what she hates most; she has to wait.
*****
Rating: G, I guess
Character/Pairing: Morgana
Summary: Morgana ponders of greatness, injustice and the future of Camelot
Spoilers: None, not really referring to anything in particular.
Notes: I've now watched all five episodes of Merlin. And to my sadness, there was little of Morgana, who is a character I've really liked ever since reading Mists of Avalon. Anyway, I tried to, based on what I've seen on the show so far, make this little fic(let) to sort of try to get inside her head a little and in the process to try and explain why I think she's such a great character and deserves more screen time. There's no real pairing in this one and it's not based on some grand information of what is going to happen on the show (they've changed some bits so I have no idea what will remain and what will be changed) so this is just me trying to get a sense of Morgana's situation and her life etc. seeing as we know quite little about it. This is my first fic in quite some time, so I have no idea how it is, therefore I'm very thankful for feedback, good or bad. I aim to improve as a writer.
She's lived among men all her life, and of one thing she is certain; she shall never be one man's slave.
Morgana looks out of the window of her chamber, staring down at the masses below. Of the great city of Camelot and of what she is certain shall ultimately be its demise. While she is thankful that Uther has taken her on, she cannot help but be repelled by his ignorance and his reluctance to see that there are more forces in the world than black and white. She believes at heart, Uther is a good man but his cowardice blinds him and invokes such dread that he refuses to acknowledge any power greater than his own. Uther Pendragon, is not a great man. Great men do not crumble at the sight of power but rather seeks out a way to understand it, to harness it for good.
Of what the future holds, she cannot be certain. But she fears it because she knows that even though Arthur could become the king that Camelot needs, it is still many moons away for actually coming to pass. Maybe her dreams have misled her. Maybe her hopes disillusions her from the great truth that Arthur cannot be the man she wants him to be - the man she needs him to be - for everyone's sake.
She sighs, thankful for her solitude. She has much of it these days. Sometimes, it is unbearable but sometimes it is a blessing. Not being an active participant in her own life shields her from many things, but mostly from herself. The walls of the castle have become her prison and the stone walls that were meant as a comfort seems now to suffocate her. She feels like a bird trapped in a cage that longs to fly. She doesn't know how, where or why, but it's almost as though there is something inside of her, longing to see the light of day but despite all wishes and desires, continues to be hidden in darkness.
She does not think Camelot as a prison someone has put herself in. She walked into it on her own will and she has happy days, but it is days like these when the rain pours down and she is alone that the thoughts come to her, haunting her. It seems like the nightmares she fight in her dreams are ebbing into her everyday consciousness and she wishes she had answers.
Her thoughts are interrupted as Gwen walks into the room, and Morgana happily takes her eyes off the world outside and turns to her handmaiden, who always wears such a smile on her face. Sometimes, she believes Gwen is freer than herself. For she is truly no man's slave but those she choose to serve. She herself, on the other hand, is bound by the rules dictated by her guardian, who presumes to know everything and all in the world, while his true knowledge is only a portion of what could be found.
"Hello Gwen," she says, smiling at her even if she's not sure if it's genuine.
She doesn't claim to have these answers herself, but there are those who have. People wiser than herself and Uther. Out of gratitude, she hopes that he is the king he supposed himself to be, but she has doubts. Uther has, as far as she's aware, earned his throne rightfully, but she can see the potential, all the wasted potential and the idea of what a king he could be, die before her very eyes. Uther seeks to do what is right but occasionally he blinds himself from reason, shrinks away from his duty because he is afraid. She hopes that his son, Arthur, will be better.
She hopes he won't be afraid, at least not of forces greater than his own, even if it means facing impossibilities. She hopes him to grow up to be a man of glory, righteousness, loyalty, honour, bravery, intelligence, and most importantly, a man of hope. God knows Camelot could use some.
But she really shouldn’t think of such things. At least not now. There will be a time to think these thoughts, she is certain, but it is not now. She has to do what she hates most; she has to wait.
*****
no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 07:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 08:09 pm (UTC)Merlin is pretty fun, at least I think so, who apart from Morgana (and the occasional Morgana/Arthur - I don't care if it's wrong :P) doesn't really care that much about the story. They've changed some things around but I'm not complaining. It's not like when they change around Jane Austen too much, Merlin is actually really entertaining instead of being a torture.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-21 08:54 am (UTC)And the text, even if I don't know that Morgana did make me think about her^^
I'm not a huge fan of Merlin's character so it could be a good change for me to discover a new vision of Merlin!^^
I think I'll have a look!^^
no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 08:11 pm (UTC)I'm really glad you shared this; thank you.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 08:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 08:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 08:28 pm (UTC)Please write more for this fandom!
no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 08:35 pm (UTC)But anyways, I'm so glad you like it. I'm definitely writing more Merlin stuff. I've already got a vague idea of Merlin/Morgana (I swear, it just appeared and I have to write it, but I doubt it will be in a romantic way) and I'm thinking about writing some Morgana/Arthur and I might write some Arthur/Merlin but considering the colossal amount of fics that have already found its way to existence, I don't know if I dare. (I like to babble :P)
I really hope that Morgana gets more screen time and I can only hope that they sort of keep her as a back burner for a reason to only later step forward and claim her vital role ;) But that's what I hope anyway.
As I said, I babble ;) Thank you so much for writing and for commenting. I really appreciate it :D Thank you so much :D
no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 09:03 pm (UTC)Well, hope to see some more of your work soon!
no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 09:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 08:29 pm (UTC)Overall, a beautifully astute little insight. Thank you! :)
no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 08:37 pm (UTC)Thanks a million for reading and commenting, it's like candy to my soul :D
no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 09:01 pm (UTC)It always feels mean giving criticism no matter how constructive... so I'm really glad you appreciate the constructiveness (no idea if it's a word - but I like it!). :D
And no bowing. What do you think is? Arthurian Britain? ;)
no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 09:07 pm (UTC)After all, some mastermind said once: "The more you learn, the more you realize how little you know." I try to apply that to writing as well. Different perspectives enrich the story and develops your writing skills. (I babble :P)
Hehe. I had to perform a miniplay of Pride and Prejudice so that might explain my little bowing tendency ;) (we even made a little dance - which was utter hilarity, but I unfortunately cracked and began laughing because it felt so silly) And watching all the Merlin episodes after each other might have something to do with that as well ;)
no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 09:55 pm (UTC)Constructive criticism is a pleasure to receive because I believe it shows that the reader really engaged with your story and cares enough about your writing to want to help you improve. Reviews saying they enjoyed it are always appreciated, of course, but easily forgotten when what you're focused on is your own technique.
Haha, that sounds great fun! Embarrassing... but fun!
no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 11:27 pm (UTC)I couldn't agree more.
Haha, it was sort of embarrassing, but it was okay. It was a fun experience ;)
no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 09:42 pm (UTC)What I would perhaps like to have seen is a little more of Morgana's strength and determination (she always strikes me as a 'doer'), but that's only a personal preference and you brought out the angst side of her very well.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 11:31 pm (UTC)I suppose so, but personally, I think that since she is thinking about these issues even though she doesn't have to is sort of a sign of her personal strength and all but I know what you mean. I'd like to see her 'do' more as well, but as it is with a lot of people, there are some days where you sort of... don't have the energy to do something about things and where you sort of have to "recharge".
... I have no idea if that made any sense. It's 1.30 AM and I think I have a classic case of insomnia.
Anyway, thank you so much for reading and commenting :D I really appreciated it, thank you :D
no subject
Date: 2008-10-21 02:09 pm (UTC)It seems we both feel the same about the show and Morgana's overall presence in it. Since I read MoA, she's been my Arthurian character. I hope that the show does her justice too.