About clothes, my apperance and other girly silly things that make me feel ugly

Happy birthday bachicka! I hope you'll have an awesome birthday.

(ranting - dissing myself - warning)
My fashion interest has returned to me with a venegeance (probably isn't the correct spelling but whatever). It has to do something with this wonderful autumn fashion that is going around but it's also making me slightly depressed. My legs are too short for me to swear most things, I look hideous (I mean like most of the time seriously, trust me. Hair is a mess, never learned make-up so I don't wear it). Also my figure sucks. Small chest, hips/tighs bigger than Europe (okay, might not be entirely true but for me they are huge - everyone else has much tinner tighs. My tighs reminds me of Mariah Carey's. Euughhh) and my stomach makes me look pregnant (I need to work out, I remember when I used to work out and I got a stomach that was sort of acceptable, I want it back). Okay, I might not look pregnant but I think it's the stomach (you know the actual stomach, not the area people call the stomach, but the actual stomach inside of you) that pokes out or something. I hate it. I want a defined waist.

I want to be in a size 6 (depending on the clothes, I am a size 6) and not a size 8. In US mesures a size 6 is a 4 and a size 8 is 6. In Sweden it's the mesurements are 34 and 36. I might just be picky but I just... guh, I'm having a girly phase. I want to be 5'25" and not 5'0". I wanna be pretty for a change.

Again, today I'm extremely girly but it seems as if my clothes obsession might go hand and hand with my emo girly rants about my apperance. I suppose I've been looking too much on ads and stuff where people are tall and have like the biggest stomach area in the world that makes every piece of clothing looks gorgeous on them.

Shopping list for tomorrow:
Shoes
Tops
Training clothes
Socks
Underwear
Hair stuff
Cardigans

There's this make up store in the city called The Make Up Store where they can apply make up on you and give you make up worth for like 200 SEK for 200 SEK and I probably need to go there but I've heard some very nasty stuff about that place. Or rather, I've only heard one thing about that place and that was that an employee were completely trashing someone there and gave them a moisterer that would make their skin less dry and less filled with pimples but it turned out it did just the opposite.

I hate being not girly and know these stuff. Seriously. I despise it. I don't like the way I look with make up and I hate the way I look without. I've only looked pretty once and then it wasn't even me who did the make up.

I know people hate entries like this (at least I do) but... man, I need to vent. And I need a gym card.... *goes to my Sugarmamma AKA my mother*

(no subject)

All swedish people can now hear my home made phone post where I talk swedish. Others are free to hear it too (I sound much more like myself) but I'm not sure if you'll understand much.