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The Land of the Emotionally Suppressed
Nov. 11th, 2005 03:51 pmI havent looked properly in my flist in a few days. I could rain you with excuses and explainations, but you all know I'm still a school girl so, I bet you'll understand since we hall have, at one time or another, been at school.
I'm going to dad's this weekend. Let's hope there wont be a rerun of next weekend. My sister is pissed at me because I snapped in front of the whole class and told her to stop interrupting me and stuff. Well, I can't apologize really. Since I think we are all in titled to vent and I was starting to feel as if I could just sit on the sidelines and watch them discuss. I read the english version of Lord of the Flies , and therefore it seemed as if I was disqualfied from the discussion. She kept cutting me off and when she started to say like: "Its speak - not spelak." (I was feeling stressed and didn't think through the words properly so I started to say words incorrectly), then I just had it. I didn't really like yell, I just told her sorta loudly (but calling it yelling is an overstatement). I can understand that she was embarressed or whatever but frankly, I dont really care. She had no right to make me feel insignificant because last time I checked, I'm not. Even Anna started to treat me like that when I tried to join into the discussion and I just couldn't deal with that anymore.
I hate going to dads. Can I crash with anyone of you lovely people? I really dont wanna go. I feel another anxiety attack coming on.
I want my swedish classes to be more advanced. When I tried to what I got as a reply was: "No more of that deep stuff, we weren't going to do that. We were going to talk about the book." (Hello, what was I trying to do? Gaah, I hate group assignments and the fact that my sister always plays by someone elses violin and never tries to advance a discussion but just floats there without really getting anything out of the discussions). I dont get anything out of discussing a book, the way I'm suppose to, because it seems as if no one is on my level besides the teacher and my sister and I can't very well sit with the teacher and discuss the book.
I'm not working in the same group as my sister again. At least not by preference. I dont have the enegry to stand her treating me as if I'm a child. I might be a tad bit uncapable of learning what I should and shouldn't do around people that she wants me to understand (I'm me and that's the deal with that. Why should I try to seem cool or impress someone? Cool is a state of mind, not a general conception put together of what you should and shouldnt. If you feel cool - you are cool).
I love my sister and I'll probably have her ranting somewhere in the comments (since she's pretty pissed at me and that's what she does), but sometimes I need to vent and since I'm going to dad's - the land of the emotionally suppressed - I feel as if I need to do this now.
(I love this icon)
I'm going to dad's this weekend. Let's hope there wont be a rerun of next weekend. My sister is pissed at me because I snapped in front of the whole class and told her to stop interrupting me and stuff. Well, I can't apologize really. Since I think we are all in titled to vent and I was starting to feel as if I could just sit on the sidelines and watch them discuss. I read the english version of Lord of the Flies , and therefore it seemed as if I was disqualfied from the discussion. She kept cutting me off and when she started to say like: "Its speak - not spelak." (I was feeling stressed and didn't think through the words properly so I started to say words incorrectly), then I just had it. I didn't really like yell, I just told her sorta loudly (but calling it yelling is an overstatement). I can understand that she was embarressed or whatever but frankly, I dont really care. She had no right to make me feel insignificant because last time I checked, I'm not. Even Anna started to treat me like that when I tried to join into the discussion and I just couldn't deal with that anymore.
I hate going to dads. Can I crash with anyone of you lovely people? I really dont wanna go. I feel another anxiety attack coming on.
I want my swedish classes to be more advanced. When I tried to what I got as a reply was: "No more of that deep stuff, we weren't going to do that. We were going to talk about the book." (Hello, what was I trying to do? Gaah, I hate group assignments and the fact that my sister always plays by someone elses violin and never tries to advance a discussion but just floats there without really getting anything out of the discussions). I dont get anything out of discussing a book, the way I'm suppose to, because it seems as if no one is on my level besides the teacher and my sister and I can't very well sit with the teacher and discuss the book.
I'm not working in the same group as my sister again. At least not by preference. I dont have the enegry to stand her treating me as if I'm a child. I might be a tad bit uncapable of learning what I should and shouldn't do around people that she wants me to understand (I'm me and that's the deal with that. Why should I try to seem cool or impress someone? Cool is a state of mind, not a general conception put together of what you should and shouldnt. If you feel cool - you are cool).
I love my sister and I'll probably have her ranting somewhere in the comments (since she's pretty pissed at me and that's what she does), but sometimes I need to vent and since I'm going to dad's - the land of the emotionally suppressed - I feel as if I need to do this now.
(I love this icon)
